How to make the best choice!
One day as Adam and eve were enjoying the beautiful sunset, Eve turned around and asked Adam, “Adam, if you have to do it all over again, would you choose me?” Adam reflected for a moment and replied, “Who else?” Sometimes we might wish that choosing a partner would be as easy as it was back then. Then we would surely hit God’s will right on the target. Who is Ms or Mr Perfect Will for me? Some believe that God has perfect will for which we should marry, but in general God wants us to make wise prayerful decisions. Supported by many scriptural verses that exhort us to find a good wife and reflect by example of various biblical characters (Pr 18:22, 1 Sam 25:39).
Criteria to look for in a life partner
Vision and goals in life: (Amos 3:3) Share same vision and goals in life, important to know Gods will otherwise you will not be able to accomplish it or be all that God wants you to be. When couple does not share same vision, it may seem fine at first but later problems will arise. Disagreement may arise due to differences in perspective in regard to:
- Finance: gain more for personal use and comfort versus use for Gods kingdom
- Career: to advance as much as possible versus which suits Gods purpose
- Time and energy: spending more time for family versus spending time for God
- Ministry: nominal ministry versus whole-hearted ministry
- Raising children: own cultures way versus Gods way
Our vision should be in line with Gods overall vision Mt 28:19-20 and God is pleased when we choose to follow Gods vision and look for those with same vision Phil 2:2.
Maturity: every Christian is to reach maturity in Christ (Eph 5:26-27, 4:13-14), hence we should look for those who intend to develop unto maturity (2 Cor 3:18) in all aspects of their lives: spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and socially.
Example maturity in life of Ruth:
- Loyalty (Ruth 1:16) loyal to friends and family? Do they give honour and respect to others? This will reflect how loyal they will be to you.
- Responsibility (Ruth 2:2). Are they dependable and take responsibility towards their assigned duties? This will indicate how dependable they will be to you.
- Humility (Ruth 2:7) Are they humble and teachable? And arrogant person is very hard to live with. God can change a humble person and they will become better person with time.
- Diligence (Ruth 2:7)
- Gratitude (Ruth 2:10)
- Thoughtfulness (Ruth 2:14, Ruth 2:18)
- Submission (Ruth 3:5) Do they submit to their parents and leaders in church? Do they submit to Gods word?
Example maturity in life of Boaz:
- Kindness (Ruth 2:8-9, Ruth 2:14). Are they kind to others or do they take advantage of others?
- Integrity (Ruth 3:12). Do they handle their affairs with integrity? If they cheat others, they could cheat on you.
- Nobility (Ruth 3:14). Are their actions noble?
- Responsibility (Ruth 3:18)
- Generosity (Ruth 3:15)
- Wisdom (Ruth 4). Do they make wise decisions in their life such as studies, work, finance, lifestyle, etc?
Are they continuing to grow in walk with God? It is not where they are today but where they are headed in spiritual walk. Are they sufficient in mature spiritually?
Compatibility: Must be compatibility in key areas so both can work together well. Lack compatibility can cause major difficulties in communication and understanding one another’s way of thinking.
- Spiritual: 2 Co 6:14
- Personality: be able to work and relate well together both be able to support each other as friends and get along with each other in daily life.
- Intellectual compatibility: vast difference intellectually can cause problems in manner they approach life
- Social compatibility: differences in this area can adversely affect our social life as we have mix with very different types of friends
- Other: likes/dislikes, habits can accommodate differences, physical looks, stature, medical condition, talents and gifting.
- Complimentary: Gen 2:18
- Love: Love provide initial spark but it is also commitment of love that will bind the relationship together.
- Commitment: Are they sufficiently committed Christian, neither cold nor lukewarm. Rev 3:16
- Effectiveness: will person as life partner make us most effective for the
If we devote ourselves to God’s purposes, we will always get the best from God. Rom 8:28.
Based on Romantic Choices seminar Hope Brisbane
