- Unable to adequate distinguish between infatuation and love
- Usually unable to exercise sufficient self-control to maintain a relationship without getting overly emotional or physical
- Yet to work out the type of person they will be able to settle down with for the rest of their lives.
- Insufficient mature to handle issues that arises in relationship with wisdom. This can lead to unwise decisions that can wreck the relationship
Are you ready to get married within next 3 years? As courtship should lead towards a possible marriage, courtship should not simply for fun or experimentation. It should be very serious commitment, there shouldn’t enter courtship unless certain that soon you will be ready for marriage. The span of 3 years is rough guideline; consider readiness in terms of maturity, economic situation and Gods will. Ecc: 31, 8
Have you developed consistent walk with God? If your relationship with God is neither stable nor consistent, it is better not to be distracted at this stage and focus on growing in God first cause can get distracted once they get involved in romantic relationship. It is recommended the first year of young believer’s walk, they should be discouraged from any romantic relationships.
Is your ministry to which God is calling you sufficiently developed? Will your service to God continue to grow or stagnate? It is very much like aeroplane attempting to take off but has not had enough time to build up critical speed. It is question of faithfulness before God in our ministry (1 Co 4:2, 1 Pet 4:10). Remember our marriage should enhance our service to God.
Will you be able to put God first? (Deut 6:5, Ex 20:4-5) Can you still put God first and make sure you do not make your relationship an idol?
Can you adequately manage your time and lives? If cannot adequately manage yourselves at present, you cannot hope to manage another person. Will your studies, work or ministry suffer significantly if you get involved in romantic relationship?
Have you prayed and asked God? (Jam 1:5). You should not make decisions on your own alone but seek Gods wisdom and approval. God knows what is best for us and you need to trust his answer.
Have you sought wise counsel that confirmed you are ready? (Pr 11:14, 1 Pet 5:5, Heb 13:17). Have you sought mature leaders, parents, and listen to their objective answers? It is important to submit to counsel of God’s delegated authority such as godly parents and church leaders (Prov. 11:14). At times we may not be aware of certain shortcomings in our lives which will hindrance to fulfilling relationship. Wise counsellors can discern those shortcomings and alert us to it. Key is to humble ourselves and seek wise counsel.
Is this the right timing? Although you obtain positive answer to all above, may not be good time to initiate romantic relationship, before major examination, going away for long time, family problems to deal with. Or you made some promise to God that you not get involve until finish study, grow care group etc. This is keeping integrity of our promise.
Stages in developing romantic interest:
- Initial evaluation
- Are you ready for romantic relationship on platonic level?
- Do you know them well enough on platonic level? Their friends and family, how they hand problems, see person’s shortcoming, see appreciate person
- Does the other person fulfil appropriate criteria for possible partner?
- Is it right timing?
- For man: will we be able to lead the relationship spiritually and natural terms? For woman: will we be able to accept their leadership? Eph 5:23-24
- Have you received confirmation from wise counsel? Pro 1:5, Pro 5:1, Pro 15:22; They will protect us from making wrong decisions, unnecessary embarrassment
- Is it OK with God?
- Expression of interest.
Spiritual Covering:
Importance of spiritual covering: 3 types of relationship influence our lives. Our relationship with immediate family greatly influences how we grow up in our lives, relationship with God determines our eternal destiny and third important relationship is that with our spouse for it greatly influences what we do with our lives.
Benefit of spiritual covering: Purpose of spiritual covering is for wise and experiences people to be able to look over the relationship in order to give sound advise on helping the relationship develop biblically as well as to help avoid potential pitfalls. They can pray and help protect us from enemy who seeks to ruin all relationship.
Who can cover us? Spiritual leaders matured Christian couples or godly parents.
God has designed marriage to be beautiful union between a man and a woman. The extent to which we enjoy this heaven on earth depends considerably to whether we follow Gods principles in our courtship.
Romantic Choice Hope Brisbane.
