Memories of mum

I woke up early today to visit my mother alone, its been awhile since I have gone there and somewhat feels weird. As I prayed and spoke to God...the memories of my mother came back. I knew there was a time that I tried really hard to suppress all memories of the hurt and pains and eventually i succeeded in blocking ALL memories even the good ones of my mother because it hurts too much in the past to remember her love for us kids....but now I am set free to remember and embrace the memories.

I remembered, when i was 8ish, I remember after coming home from primary school my dad took me to oval, to take some memory pictures ...Unknowingly, my mother was at home baking and decorating the birthday cake for me. She cooked all the dishes I like as a kid, it was really like a banquet whenever my mother cooked. When I got home, she brought out the cake with candles and with the family we would sing happy birthday. I never really receive any presents as my family is not the wealthiest but the greatest blessing is having my family with me. They have shown me how to love and through Christ I have grown in understanding of my love to people.

Sadly, when I was 16, my mother past away due to cancer...leaving us behind. She gave so much to the family, her whole life was centred around the family. She poured out her energy, time and emotion in supporting the family to make it the way it was. She sacrificed so much and took the short end of the stick so many times so that my brother and I can have the best in our lives. She didnt ask anything in return. She didnt even get a chance to taste the labour of her fruits, but if I were to ask her now. I know what she would say, "I have you kids, that is my joy" I remember she told us that, we kids were her life. This is the extent of her much mother loved us.

I remember her specific smell, when she was in hospital I would sleep with her jumper...her smell was motherly and sweet. My mother would wake us kids every morning sometimes jumping into bed with us and hugging us kids, showing her affection through touch. And when we got home from school, she would shout from the kitchen, how is my handsome boy, smart boy, or piglet doing today. I do miss her immensely but I know she is at a better place. She is in heaven with God. She does not need to suffer and work anymore but to enjoy his presence. I know she was a special gift from God, a blessing for us, and God wanted to call her early so that she can enjoy life in heaven with him. She must be singing and praising God 24hr, having joy and peace up there...I thank God for my mother and pray that he can pass on the message to my mother, that I am doing well and I miss her. I thank God, because through my mother, and my lost, I have come to have relationship with Christ who have shown his unconditional love to me before I had even known.